Life?

Finally, after such a long time I'm back here adding something new into my blog archive. It's been years since I last typed. Quite a weird feeling I am having right now actually. Though, it is not anything extraordinary, remarkable or special to jot down. Just a random TFIOS' aftermath, and Guardians of The Galaxy of course. Surprisingly after weeks of longing and craving for the new movie 'The Fault In Our Stars' which is going viral among the girl friends especially, I watched it today. With my little brother. Aww so romantic don't you think? Ughh.

So we watched Guardians of the Galaxy first. As usual, again, watching this kind of blockbuster action movie always lifts up my warrior spirit, being so on fire where a strong voice in my head keeps telling me to train myself up, have some core muscles exercises, attend some marshal arts training sessions and etc. All just to be fit (and sexy) with cool actions of kicking and boxing and rolling from top of the hills to the underground drains. Sounds awesome right? Well at least the thought stays for 30 minutes. I'm proud enough for that :p Somehow regardless how different these movies' plots and story-lines are from one another, one thing for sure which connects every common parts up to me; is the reminder to Live as a fighter, Die as a fighter. There's no guarantee that we will survive or get through the hardships in life, yet without trying definitely there will be no hope for tomorrow thus, I will never go down without trying. Even if death is the sequel. It is my life motto and inspirational motivation for now, and I'll keep it as long as I could.

Then we moved on to the latter movie, TFIOS with high anticipation that I will be touched and melt down by the love affairs and sentimental affections of new Romeo and Juliet story in the 20th century. And I didn't cry, not as much as I thought I would, not as crazy as I was when I watched Spiderman 3 and Harry died in the embrace of Peter Parker. Somehow, it drags me into a different perspective, a different way of looking at this world, a different love than I was waiting for. Being in love is the silliest matter on earth, also the simplest and happiest. "It is my privilege to have my heart broken by you", "It is not about being in love widely, but being in love deeply" says Augustus Waters.

When death has become an appointed guest and there is no where else we could run to but to face it, that is when we are vulnerable, I guess. I used to not afraid of death, now neither, because I believe that leaving the life on earth to have eternal live with God in His kingdom is the best thing ever could happen in lives. Then it struck my mind, how about those who were left behind? Just like when dad left, just like when we are left behind in this realistic cruel world. No. I wouldn't want that to happen again, not to my family members and closed friends, not if I could control the plots of my life, and I know it is impossible. None of us know what will happen tomorrow. What have happened lately; planes crushed, wars, gas explosion.. The increasing number of deaths has somehow naturally being accepted by everyone that life is pathetically unpredictable and uncontrollable. Indeed, life is a unresolved mystery and we are all part of this chess game trying our very best luck to stay till the end. No matter how hard we try, we are just mortals, full of emotions, fatal weaknesses and flaws, but yet that's what makes us special. That's what makes us one of a kind, leaving marks in places and people's hearts in our own ways, being someone irreplaceable. Every morning we wake up to uncertainties of losing someone we care, of making mistakes, of missing out the golden opportunities for something better off. It scares us, but it's the presence of fear, that what makes us feel alive, no? It has becomes an ultimate reason for us to fight, to stay in this battle a little longer, to triumph over the enemies and to gain victory in life. I would never know what will happen tomorrow no matter how hard I pray for the supernatural power of foreseeing future. But all that I have learnt all this while, is to treasure today, right now, this very moment. There's nothing else I could ask for, the only thing I am longing for is to able to breathe in air into my normal-functioning lungs for the next seconds, and stay alive. That's ultimately the sole way to make dreams come true; to travel all around the world; to savor amazing foods; to fall in love relentlessly, rebelliously, ironically, romantically and which ever other ways a love story could be.
Till then, I will keep fighting to stay in this life battle and equipping myself for the right one.

For Dad, thank you for fighting your battle vigorously, bravely. Thank you for being my guardian angel and brought me to this beautiful world with Mom. It wasn't about how long time we spent together, but how deep we're connected to one another, even we're different worlds apart, that's love I believe.

With Loves,
Yelena Yeong.

Too much

1 am in the morning and yes seriously I'm gonna post something up here after so long while, sorry peeps for dragging so long!

We heard what we both said just now, perhaps it's really too much for us, I can feel the tiredness in every single inches of my body, from inside out. You'll never understand how it feels, cause you'll never ever put a single drop of efforts to stand in my shoe, be at my side and see things in my way. You feel everything should goes in your way, under your control and yes, so far they are. But have you ever look clearly into faces of those who're standing aside, watching while you're treated like a king? How imbalance it was and how hard to forget the fact that you're actually the same like us, every single of us. When I say I was just passing the message up to you, was actually sending the one from the deep of my heart, it's really imbalance and I can feel it triple more than others. But you'll never get it, always expecting me and others to beg for you, perhaps I am the same as well, but at least, I'm working so hard here with my bare hand, not based on the fame and historical stories in the past. We're different in so many senses, asking for the word "sorry", it's easy to say or even shout it loud, but it's not about asking or getting a "sorry", but getting understanding and acceptance for being who I am. I am in the shit-est situation ever, where you can only work more, stressed more, pressured more than others, but there's not even a tiny space for you to complain, not even a single word. Let's talk about fairness now! Is this fair enough? Was expecting and hoping, at least there'll be someone who can share everything with you, who can understand you when you in need and accept you in the way you're. If you're asking someone who'll change because of you? Sorry, I would never be that person and you knew this since the day we met.

It's too much, all these are accumulating since don't-know-when ago, over-expected that I could get along with it, sincerely apologizing, I can't. Please, always remember this, things that you can do, I can do as well. Thinking of restricting me? Think of yourself at the first place please dude.

This is really too much, letting me to handle with your attitude and faces shown while I'm under pressured and burdened, wondering what's playing in your mind? Needing someone to take care of you for 24hours? Hoping I can be professional in multi-tasking but seriously I'm just an ordinary girl with no super power to handle more than my own problems, maybe I'm taking the wrong position, you're better in this perhaps? Just give me a word then I'll know what to do, since we'll never reach the equivalent point, there's someone who must be up, and down. All the best, thanks with sincerity.

Mr. Know It All

Mr. Know It AllWell you think you know it allBut you don't know a thing at all ain't itAin't it something y'allWhen somebody tells you something about youThink that they know you more than you doSo you take it down, another pill to swallow
Mr. Bring Me DownWell you like to bring me down, don't youBut I ain't laying downBaby I ain't going downCan't nobody tell me how it's gonna beNobody's gonna make a fool out of meBaby you should know that I lead not follow
Oh you think that you know me, know methat's why I'm leaving you lonely, lonely'Cause baby you don't know a thing about meYou don't know a thing about me
You ain't got the right to tell meWhen and where to go, no right to tell meActing like you own me latelyYeah baby you don't know a thing about meYou don't know a thing about me
Mr. Play Your GamesOnly got yourself to blameWhen you want me back againBut I ain't falling back again'Cause I'm living my truth without your liesLet's be clear baby, this is goodbyeI ain't comin' back tomorrow
So what you've got the world at your feetAnd you know everything about everythingBut you don'tYou still think I'm coming back but baby you'll see
Mr. Know It All Well you you think you know it allBut you don't know a thing at allYeah baby you don't know a thing about meYou don't know a thing about me

原来

原来，恋人最怕的不是受伤，而是对伤痛起了免疫。

因为这时候，说得再多，做得再多，爱的再多，都没用了，

没了自觉，怎么感受？

这一刻，割舍得最痛快，干脆，利落。

就让一切顺其自然 :)

我依然是我，一切曾经历过的事，是让我成长的累积，

从一来到这世上的那一刻起，就是学习的起步，

我是华人，我不后悔当个华人，

我学华文，我不后悔学会华文。

那是塑造今天的我的关键。

谢谢过去，珍惜当下，期待未来 :D

Bad day

True happiness comes from within yourself, not from someone else. Don't make the mistake of waiting someone or something to come along and make you happy.

There's a point where you'll start to realize and understand, after things have passed in it's own way and time. Then you'll be glad, for making the right decisions, or vice versa. I'd made right and wrong both. Somehow making the wrong one makes me feel so guilty and it's killing me like seriously as the same thing keep on crossing over my mind again and again. Out of sudden I feel like every single human beings are selfish, greedy, self-centered, and it's impossible to get someone right. I'm not sure it's correct or not to think in this way. People hope to get something in return as reward after everything they've done, or maybe the initial motive is always to get something from someone. It's too hard and rare to get one that would never ask something from you, other than family and some of the really best and close friends I guess. I shouldn't trust anyone else that much again, not even a little bit I afraid cause when you wished for a small tiny dream and someone just blew it off, that's more hurt than spreading salts on wounds. That's why I love my family and besties that much, I know they'll always be the best and the ones who truly care for me. From here you'll know who'll be the one to stay forever by your side, and who will be just like anyone else dropping by awhile in your life with a passenger pass. Girls, let's get used to this with a smile on your face, life's always getting better when you're smiling :)

It's my mistakes for anticipating someone to replace someone else,

I should have known earlier, no one can be like you.

Ahh, silly me.

Changes

Change is imminent.

That's what they always say. I can't deny this, it's just so true and yes I've changed, you've changed and we've changed. After so long time hiding how actually I feel and what I have in the deep side of mine, suddenly things just burst out like a leaked water pipe with thousands newton of pressure. Billions and millions of words will not help, not if you're not willing to listen and accept it, no matter good or bad one. I'm getting into more and more situations, nice and not both, and more and more burdens and pressure I can feel now, it's holding my breathe till I feel I could stop breathing anytime soon. It's not easy at all, too much to care, handle and balance. Still, I am standing here, willing to accept, listen and change after all the criticisms. I know that's what I supposed to do, and that's why I'm doing it, with the hope that you can understand and get some supports in return. But you'll never get it, no matter how many times I try. I should have known earlier before putting myself into all this troubles. And now I'm stuck. Hooray for me. Please, don't push me too hard to the end of corner cause you'll never know what I'll do to get escaped from the trap which minimizing my space to think and breath. It'll never be a judgement, not till you proved your words.

INTI University Day!

Here's it! INTI University Day on 5th October 2011!

It's a great night with all the INTIans and Adventure Club committees!

Participated in Food Bazaar and Dance Party,

where instead of selling foods like others, we played games which is real fun game and I don't feel like revealing my secret weapon at here :D *devil me*

While for the Dance Party part, we danced for Flashmob session which had been practiced for so long time together with the rest of 150people! It's my very first time experience and flashmob is fun! You'll know how it feels when you actually dance in the crowd together with hundreds of people! We danced Bonama and Mr. Simple both songs from Super Junior. Guess our Student Affairs Officer, Florence loves SJ that much :P I was dancing at the first row! *Self-praising*

All photos are stolen from Kenny Ng's facebook profile, credits for him! :)

ADVs' partying! All in red with caps on! :) *I look cacat in this photo D:*

Yeah you're not wrong, it's Mizz Nina and her dance crew! The atmosphere was HOT when she's singing and dancing! Was at the first row again :]

That's all for INTI Uni Day, more photos in Chernnine's camera!

New semester

I've started my last semester in Foundation with anticipating mood, and carrying it on with tiring and confusing mood. I'm getting involved into many things, well co-curriculum stuffs of course! Back to the field where I used to be, feel so great and familiar! At the same point, it's something harder than what we experienced previously, and that's what we call as grow and growth! People here do things differently and have a wider scope of view, there're much more for me to explore and learn I know. XP Somehow, my academic part is killing me. I'm having three subjects only for this semester but it's all calculation subjects! God and friends know I am NOT GOOD in calculating! I'm taking Business pathway though, still Accounts and Macroeconomics is killing me! And Maths as well! I'm gonna die this time.. seriously :X

Bless me please. :D

Dead :X

Oh yes I am back to here and obviously it's a dusty dead blog which I don't even remember that I have one! Sorry people! Although I don't really know who I'm saying sorry to, still I can feel and see and smell that...yeah my page viewers is getting lesser and lesser!

Well, I'm not gonna blame any of you, of course no one would stay at a dead blog, not even clicking into it I guess *feel sad*

Anyhow...I think...*stick to the word I think XD* I will back to here often, as long as I have free time I should back to here and out-pour some stuffs here.

Just an information to inform, more coming up soon :D